Okay, this sounds like a classic “Small Prophets” scenario, where the promise of profound insight clashes with hilariously unhelpful bureaucracy or philosophical evasiveness.
Here’s a scene:
**Setting:** The “Clarity & Foretelling” counter at “Small Prophets.” The counter is made of rough-hewn, reclaimed wood, adorned with various unidentifiable dried herbs and crystals that hum faintly. Behind it, a softly glowing wall of small, glass-encased scrolls, each sealed with a different cryptic symbol. A lone staff member, **ELARA** (30s, serene, dressed in flowing, earth-toned robes, with an unsettlingly patient smile), stands.
**CUSTOMER:** (BRENDA, 40s, business casual, clearly exasperated, holding a small, blank, unsealed scroll)
“Right. So, for the third time, Elara. I bought the ‘Prophecy of Personal Progression’ scroll. It was seventy-five dollars. I brought it back to the counter to have my prophecy written, as instructed by the sign.”
Brenda gestures to a small, elegantly calligraphed sign that reads: “*Your future awaits! Present your sealed scroll here for bespoke revelation.*”
**ELARA:** (Eyes crinkling in a gentle smile)
“Ah, Brenda. Always such a vibrant spirit, isn’t it?”
**BRENDA:**
“Yes, vibrant and currently quite frustrated. My performance review is tomorrow, and I just need to know if I’m getting that promotion. The scroll is blank. I need you to *write* the prophecy.”
**ELARA:**
“But Brenda, my dear, the sign clearly states ‘for bespoke revelation,’ not ‘for dictated inscription.'”
**BRENDA:**
“What’s the difference? I give you the scroll, you write my future on it!”
**ELARA:** (Picks up the blank scroll, examines it with a look of profound concentration)
“Oh, Brenda. That *is* your prophecy.”
Brenda stares, her mouth slightly ajar.
**BRENDA:**
“The blank scroll… is my prophecy?”
**ELARA:**
“Precisely! The Scroll of Unwritten Destiny. It signifies the vast, boundless potential of your own future, unconstrained by external prediction. It invites you to be the author of your own narrative!”
**BRENDA:** (Slowly, incredulity building)
“So, you’re telling me… I paid seventy-five dollars… for a blank piece of parchment… to tell me I have to make my own decisions?”
**ELARA:** (Nodding sagely, beaming)
“Is that not the most empowering prophecy of all? It means you are truly free! No fate but what you make for yourself.”
**BRENDA:** (Starts to laugh, a slightly hysterical edge to it)
“I… I think I’m being trolled. This entire shop is a troll. You’re a troll.”
**ELARA:** (Clutching the blank scroll to her chest as if it were a sacred artifact)
“We merely facilitate the discovery of inner truth, Brenda. And sometimes, the truth is that the greatest prophets are ourselves. Would you like to consider the ‘Amulet of Self-Realization through Unfulfillment’? It pairs wonderfully with the scroll.”
Brenda stares at the blank scroll in Elara’s hands, then back at the innocuous sign, then at Elara’s beatific, unshakeable smile. She feels an overwhelming urge to either burst into tears or buy another scroll just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. She takes a deep, shaky breath, knowing she has been utterly defeated by existential retail.
**BRENDA:** (Muttering to herself)
“I just wanted to know about the promotion. Not the meaning of life. Just the promotion.”
Elara continues to smile, gently nudging a small, smooth river stone towards Brenda. It has “YOU ARE HERE” faintly etched on it.
